For the final post on stress and how it affects us batty brides-to-be, I spoke with London-based wedding planner Karen Laure of Destination of Love Services. Obviously being a wedding planner she has a lot of experience dealing with brides before the wedding and on the day itself, and we can certainly all learn a lot from her laid back attitude!
Is having a wedding planner one way of reducing stress? Karen tells us that all of her previous brides were very relaxed and confident because her job is to be the “eyes and ears, her arms and legs” – during the wedding process and right up to the wedding day.Her job is to approach problems practically. Whatever the tricky situation is there must be a solution, but often brides cannot see that when they are surrounded by emotion.
Even without hiring a wedding planner, I think we can learn from the fact that emotions can cloud our judgments and get in the way of arriving at a good solution. This, perhaps is why guys get less stressed during the wedding planning process (though that is not always true). For the most part, the male brain is less emotional and more focused on approaching problems logically. They can separate themselves, and their emotions, from the problem.
Lesson learned? Next time something goes off track in your wedding planning, remove yourself from the problem and imagine trying to come up with a solution for a friend or client. What advice would you give her? What is the most practical approach, regardless of your emotions?
Karen also suggests that brides DELEGATE. Ah, that little word that can be so tough for those who pride themselves on their organization skills, or those who like things done their own way. Planning your wedding by yourself is not a wise choice. There is simply too much to stay on top of, too much to remember. If having a wedding planner is not possible for you (and yes, it is still a luxury for most brides), seek out help from your Mom, bridesmaids, friends and other family members. Most of the time you will find someone in your network who is wedding-obsessed and more than happy to help. And if you can’t find that person, give several friends smaller tasks. They’ll be honored that you are involving them and you will have more time to relax and less to worry about.
So who gets the most stressed outside of the bride? In Karen’s experience, it is certainly the bride’s family, sometimes more so than the bride herself! Of course they are anxious that everything goes smoothly as well as everyone having a good time. I myself remember telling my Mum that if she was going to get stressed out then it doesn’t matter how perfect the wedding day itself is, having her stressed out for months before was going to detract from how much we all enjoy the wedding. (And yes the wedding planning is a part of the wedding to and should be somewhat fun). Try telling friends and family that next time they start freaking out. And Karen suggests that during the wedding planning process, you try to bond with friends and family over topics and activities outside of wedding planning. In her words, “Yes they all know that it’s your wedding but don’t be obsessed. Give them a break!” As always, think about the bigger picture. This is one year in your life.
Her final piece of advice to ensure stress free wedding planning? “Don’t let the wedding planning process take control of your life, or take your peace and joy away.”
Many thanks to Karen from Destination Of Love http://destinationoflove.co.uk/.
Services: During 2011, £500 for on the day coordination service up to 150 guests
in London .
Destination of Love – French Wedding and Event Planner in London